This Just In… Donald Trump Moves to Deport all Foreign Asylum Seeking Honey Bears (And My Recipe for Donald ‘Rump’ Roast)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This just in… Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump, in an effort to align his culinary agenda with his domestic platform has vowed to close America’s borders to all foreign honeys. In a recent speech at Vassar University, Trump outlined the parallels between the “drug dealing thugs of Mexico who are invading our nation’s borders” and “the rotten, filthy, UN-American food they bring with them”. Also on the chopping block are Korean Kimchi, Canadian Bacon, French Toast, and English Muffins.

And the majority of US Republican voters disagree with Mr Trump: according to a 2014 survey by the Pew Research Center, 86% of Americans enjoy breakfast and believe undocumented food stuffs should be allowed to stay if they meet certain criteria. Based on an analysis of 3 million people, estimates conclude that a mass deportation from the US of Turkish coffee alone would cost an average of $8,470 per person.

*Hint – This is satire, Donny Baby. (he didn’t really say that)

And now, Honey Trump Roast

3 pounds boneless beef round rump roast
1 teaspoon curry
Snipped chives
1 teaspoon snipped fresh chives
2 tablespoons Dijon-style mustard
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 cup dairy sour cream

1.Cut fat from meat. Mix honey, curry powder, mustard, and chives. Brush 1 tablespoon of mixture on roast. Measure the meat temperature near the center of the roast.
2. For sauce, mix the remaining mustard mixture with sour cream; cover and chill.
3. Arrange preheated coals around a drip pan in a covered grill. Test for medium-low heat above pan. Place roast on grill over drip pan. Cover and grill for 1-1/2 to 2 hours or until desired level of roasting (150 degrees F for medium-rare, 170 degrees F. for medium). Remove roast from grill and cover with foil. Let stand 20 minutes before slicing. Serve with sauce and, if desired, snipped chives. Makes 12 – 14 servings.

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